Pankaj Sharma is 30 and a manager in a MNC. Finances should not be a stretch for this Delhi-based Regional Manager, his wife and two-year-old. But it is. Because he juggles his income to cater to not just his nuclear family but his aged parents as well. In two months, his father in Mumbai will have a gall bladder operation, and it is Sharma who will foot the bill. Sharma also sends money to his parents each month. He saves, not just for daughter Shweta's education but also to help his parents relocate to Delhi.
Sharma is not alone. Despite the trend towards nuclear families, thousands still take on the responsibilities of three generations — their own, their parents' and their children's. Take Gaurav Tripathi, 41, a Mumbai-based CA. He has a 75-year-old father, bed-ridden after his fourth stroke, who needs an attendant, medication and physiotherapy, all of which add up to Rs 20,000 a month extra for Tripathi.
Although Sharma and Tripathi don't complain at the responsibility, it is a burden that could be borne easier if they knew how best to carry the cross. If such situations are not handled well, the 'burden of care', as psychologists call it, could ruin finances, careers and, importantly, relationships.
It comes at a cost.
The phenomenon of 'double duty'- managing your own finances as well as your parents' - is the product of demographic change. Average life expectancy has increased by five years in the last decade to touch 64. Among white-collar workers with access to quality healthcare, this figure goes up to 75. The cost? Lifestyle diseases of the heart and lungs, and geriatric diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's cause spiralling medical costs and psychological problems. Our parents at their end are not equipped to cope with these.
They were taught to give their earnings to their children, even as they prepared to go gently into that twilight zone. "We are conditioned to give away our money to our children," says Nitika Bose, a Delhi-based psychologist. Unfortunately, this maxim leaves them with precious little ammunition to fight the battles of old age.
When 80-year-old J.M Verma, a businessman from Kolkata, retired, he wanted to divide his wealth equally among his four children, keeping nothing for himself. Luckily, his children insisted that half his earnings be kept for him and his wife. He now lives with his son, 48-year-old Anil Verma in Delhi, and daughter-in-law Sunaina, a bank employee and takes care of his finances. Many aren't this lucky, and have been known to sign away all property in their lifetime, leaving themselves dependent on their offspring.
Late marriages are another factor that contribute to the 'double burden' phenomenon. The threshold for perceived financial security is going up. People defer marriage till their careers and finances are set firmly on the growth path. This means the expenses of bringing up a family often coincide with the needs of ageing parents.
The balancing act.
Most people in such situations accept the burden as inevitable. They stoically accept stagnant finances as their lot and carry on. It needn't be that way. Planning can help you tide over this with greater ease than you imagined.
Looking after your parents does not mean you have to compromise on other life goals such as your children's education or your own retirement needs. First, recognise early that you could be in this situation; and second, anticipate when and how the situation could impact your personal life, career and finances. That's the first big hurdle crossed. Then, make an action plan, and stick to it.

CAREER STRATEGIES
"If the care-giver doesn't grow, he will burn out," says Verma, which will harm the parent in the long run. It is important that your career doesn't suffer because of your taking on an extra burden at home.
Appraise and plan.
"At different stages of your career, reappraise your priorities. Don't be ashamed to conclude that your priorities have changed. They keep changing," advises Shikha Kapoor, director, of a Mumbai-based human resource-consulting firm. So, if you realise your parents will need more of your time because of illness or age, and that you need to change your job, develop a game plan for the transition. If you wait till the last minute, you will stumble on your career ladder.
Avoid knee-jerk reactions.
A common mistake is to move hastily to a job with a higher salary just to meet increased expenses. This is the worst sort of short-term planning. To move up the career graph, your skill sets need to constantly improve. When taking a job with higher remuneration, ask yourself, 'Will this job add to my skills?' If a lousy job pays you more but adds no skill, your earning potential could be ruined.
Take care of things like, are you prepared to meet the responsibilities that come with extra money? If you have increased obligations at home, do you have the time and energy for a demanding job? Also check whether you are being paid according to industry standards. A too-high salary carries risks - fly-by-night operators or below-par work environments often pay more.
Think, out-of-box work
This need not be scary. If you are in the knowledge industry like computer software, or in the service industry, you can opt out of regular working hours. Flexi-time is becoming increasingly trendy and can come in handy if you need to be home more. But there's a catch or two. First, your skills have to be in short supply or you should be truly indispensable to get offered such an option. Second, flexi- or part-time jobs might pay less or be less-than-satisfying.
Another option is for a working couple to take a career break if the going gets really tough. Of course, this is possible only if the increased expenses can be covered by a single income or if one spouse can find part-time employment. "Taking a break is
no longer taboo among employers," claims Kapoor. She ascribes this to the paucity of talent in many industries. Be prepared, though, for a career slowdown. You may find that your B-school batch mate became CEO while you were out of circulation. "This is a choice you shouldn't regret later, " warns Kapoor.
Don't bring your problems to work
As stressed as you may be at home, leave the cribbings behind when you get to work. Most companies will go out of their way to help you in emergencies. It is not a great idea to take your company for granted. Beyond a point, companies want results, not sob stories. The same holds true for your home. Leave office problems behind and concentrate on your family.

FINANCIAL planning STRATEGIES
It's not just your career that needs planning. You must anticipate your financial needs just as carefully. With
a little foresight you could include care for parents among your medium-term goals.
What's a good time to start? Ideally, you should start saving in your late twenties. Earmark a fixed amount to be invested every month in the SIP (Systematic Investment Planning) schemes of various Mutual Fund companies. Experts also recommend that you continue contributing to your contractual savings like life insurance as well as set aside a portion of voluntary savings.
Re-evaluate.
Go in for a major review when your parents become dependent on you. First, identify whether their retirement funds are going to be adequate, based on which you will have to adopt separate strategies for managing their funds and for your contributions.
Ensure security and liquidity.
The fear of losing financial independence is very real in the mind of most aged people. If you have to manage your parents' money, make sure it is secure and liquid. Put their money into low risk and liquid instruments such as post office savings, debt and gilt funds, besides company fixed deposits (but here you have to be careful about the credit ratings).
Augment retirement funds.
When it comes to your contributions, it is best to supplement the capital of your parents' investments. This nullifies the immediate impact of inflation on their purchasing power and ensures higher regular returns, besides reinforcing liquidity. One way of doing this is to invest in post office instruments such as National Savings Certificates (NSC) for particular periods, say a month, quarter or year. After maturity, six years in the case of NSC, you get regular cash flows from the investments. A portion of these can be reinvested to create similar future cash flows. If your parents have virtually no savings, you will have to make provisions not only to do this but also to meet their regular expenses.
To cushion your parents' money further, you can invest some in relatively safer growth investments such as growth funds and blue-chip stocks.
Increase life cover.
If your parents are totally dependent on you, you might want to increase your life cover so they are protected better. Choose pure risk policies like LIC's Bima Kiran or endowment policies that combine a savings-cum-investment element to your life cover. Of course, if your asset base is substantial, this is not necessary.
Medical insurance.
This can make a hole in the most careful budget. Medical cover takes care of hospitalization expenses, and some policies give a tax break of Rs 40,000 under Section 80D. Also if you have dependents with disability, you can avail tax rebate under section 80DD.
Augment emergency fund.
Liquid investments are invaluable during medical emergencies. Even if you are insured, you will have to pay upfront and will be reimbursed only later by the insurance company. So, if your parents bank on you, increase the size of your emergency fund.
Re-evaluate expenses.
Your parents need to be taken care of. If this puts pressure on your finances, you should reprioritise your expenses. "I ask myself what I need most and buy only that," says Sharma. This common sense approach will ensure that you don't jump jobs in panic for a better salary or draw from your retirement savings.
The legal angle.
These may seem trivial but can be crucial. "I often meet people who can't access their parents' money for their medical treatment because of signature problems," says Kapoor. Make sure your parents' investments are in joint names. If your parents suffer from a degenerative disease or run the risk of losing control over some faculties as with a stroke, a power of attorney can prove vital.
The institution of family hasn't broken down in India. Most of us are more than willing to go that extra mile and take care of our elderly parents. A little careful planning would just ensure that the responsibility does not oblige you with sacrifices.